About K

1. Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
2. I can solo Onyxia in my enhancement spec.
3. I pity the fools. And the suckas.
4. My education was administered by an old Catholic abbé everyone thought was mad while we were both incarcerated in the dungeons of Chateau d'If.
5. I have a mild-mannered alter ego.
6. By accident I became the dictator of a small Latin American country for 45 days.
7. Once I realized what had happened, I peacefully transferred power to a democratically-elected ruler.
8. My efforts to infiltrate COBRA were thwarted only by my refusal to kick a puppy during my initial testing by the organization. If only it had been a kitten.
9. I was the first to have heard that the bird was the word.
10. I have discovered a marvellous proof of the Reimann Hypothesis, but the text box on this blog is too narrow to contain it.
11. I killed a man; with this thumb.
12. When I'm near, birds suddenly appear.
13. I am revered as an emissary of the gods by a cargo cult in Papua New Guinea.
14. On weekends I teach whirling classes for aspiring dervishes.
15. The story of my life will be a major motion picture coming soon to a theater near you.
16. Three secret societies consider me a dire threat to their nefarious objectives.
17. Instead of fighting The Man, I have usurped The Man and I now have my boot on the neck of someone else.
18. I am a five-tool player.
19. I am a three-time calf-roping champion.
20. I am bad to the bone. B-b-b-b-b-b-bad.
21. My tattoo has your girlfriend's name.
22. I swam the English Channel—lengthwise.
23. The man I killed (see 11) was in Reno. I did it just to watch him die. But I ain't never picked cotton.
24. When I die, I'll die with this hammer in my hand.
25. I know where Waldo is and I also know what happened to Baby Jane. Currently I'm hot on the trail of the beef and expect a break-through at any moment.
26. A wand'ring minstrel I, a thing of shreds and patches.
27. Chuck Norris is my homeboy.
28. When in Rome, I repudiate what the Romans do.
29. I can speak Braille.
30. I once dug a canal using a backhoe I built with an erector set, chewing gum, and a Swiss Army knife.